tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78790679402257145792024-02-08T12:11:57.885-08:00Ikkle87s Random RamblingsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-73376560063293343532011-03-03T05:29:00.001-08:002011-03-03T05:29:59.291-08:00How does it feel?….<p>Someone asked me today how does it feel knowing my best friend cared so little that he could end the friendship the way he did. How does it feel to know that at that moment in time they didn’t care how they hurt me or if they hurt me at all. Truth is it doesn’t feel like anything. </p> <p>At the end of the day, I have been the best friend I could possibly be. I was always there for them, I always listened. I went out of my way for them, and when they needed me I was there no matter what. I know that I did my best by them. So I leave the friendship with no regrets at all. </p> <p>Only feeling I have for them is disappointment that they could disrespect my grandparents enough to bang on the door the way they did after my grandparents were so welcoming and nice to him. </p> <p>How does it feel? It feels nice, it feels free. </p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-67074541419774381832011-02-06T05:42:00.001-08:002011-02-06T05:42:37.147-08:00Here I am.<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">The weekend has been a strange but slightly perfect one. It has consisted of tears and tantrums, truths, revelations and an openness I had forgotten about as I revealed my fears and insecurities to my best friend. At one point last week I thought we had lost it all, all because of hear say and stubbornness. But after a weekend with him I’ve realised some things are worth fighting for, his friendship is one of them. I also learnt that I don’t need to hide my fears and doubts from him, he doesn’t judge me for them, he accepts me on a whole, as I am, and as I intend to be. </font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-17731541246133061692011-02-02T15:39:00.001-08:002011-02-02T15:39:07.320-08:00No Sensitivity<p align="center"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong><em>“You don't have to scream to say something that you honestly mean <br />the world won't turn without you <br />and I am amazed you're standing still <br />your problems, they aren't problems <br />be glad they never will <br />I'm taking my kisses back <br />I want my kisses back from you <br />when you hear those footsteps calling <br />it's O.K. if you don't answer <br />isn't it obvious? <br />I thought it was obvious.”</em></strong></font></p> <p align="center"><strong><em><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></em></strong></p> <p align="left"><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I am in the foulest of foul moods, as a great quote says “You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?” Well when the people doing the weighing and the measuring and the judging of you are supposed to be friends of yours, it beats you pretty damn badly. </font></strong></p> <p align="left"><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></strong></p> <p align="left"><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">As many of you will know, Squidge is my best friend, at one point I was head over heels in love with him, he was the first male other than family that I had trusted in a long time and I think that took over my feelings, but after spending time with him and developing the fantastic friendship we have/had I realised I wasn’t in love with him but I do love him and I do care about him. And anyone who knows me knows that if I care about you and count you as a friend I will do anything for you, only I’m not allowed to do that with Squidge. I’m not allowed to care. If I care people judge and then run gossiping to him that I am in love with him or I’m lying to him about how I feel. </font></strong></p> <p align="left"><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">These people that have judged and gossiped and made him doubt me, seem to forget that they only see the tiny little part of me that I let them see. They don’t realise I don’t publicise every little detail on facebook or msn or anywhere else. They don’t realise that in the time me and Squidge have been best friends I have been in a relationship, albeit short due to the fact the guy was a bit of a nutter, or that I am outgoing and confident and go out and dance with guys and chat to guys and flirt and be happy and bubbly. If I was that hung up on Squidge and that desperate for him then why the hell would I do that?</font></strong></p> <p align="left"><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Since when was a lass not allowed to have a male friend without there being an ulterior motive? Why can I not just enjoy his company and spending time with him and love how he makes me feel? I’ve not got a manipulative bone in my body and I don’t play games. So if you want to judge me go ahead, say all you have to say, think all you have to think. At the end of the day – I am me, I like being me, I will keep being me, and I ain’t ever going to change, so if you don’t like it you can kiss my arse and piss off!! </font></strong></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-18142773051718072312011-01-30T06:06:00.001-08:002011-01-30T06:06:47.687-08:00My wish for you…<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life. </strong></font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-65923026707478501082011-01-29T11:37:00.001-08:002011-01-29T11:40:01.711-08:00Friday night and I’m alright.<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Friday’s are normally a difficult day for me, I’m normally hungover and tired and thinking that it’s shit being stuck in the house when everyone else my age is out and about in town, that I can’t possibly top the night befores fun and laughter. For once I was wrong. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Admittedly I feel like shit, I’m full of the lurgy and it’s not nice, but I’m not hungover, I’m not alone and I’m not dwelling on how crap tonight is because it’s not. I have my best friend here staying with me, I was meant to make him some tea but considering I am full of germs and he has a new job to start on Monday it’s probably for the best that he settled on a couple of bags of crisps while I chomped on raw carrot. ( yes I am strange) </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">We have done bugger all excitement wise but sprawl on the sofa watching tv with me dozing in and out of states of delirium, sleep and consciousness. Sometimes that’s all you need though. A hug with someone you care about and a lazy night in on the sofa under a duvet. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">It’s been lovely having him here, even more so cos I’ve managed to scare myself by seeing that someone has opened the gate and the garden security light is on, but at least I’ve got big bad squidge to scare any burglars off (in all honesty i think i am the scary one, especially looking how I do at the minute!!!) it’s sad knowing that he will have to scoot off tomorrow but at least he is only a text away and I know he is there if I do need him. Just like I hope he knows I am here if he needs me. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">So this is it, it’s Friday night and whilst I feel like shite, I’m alright. I’m happy and smiling and glad for what I have xxx</font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-24536998657471809212011-01-29T11:26:00.001-08:002011-01-29T11:26:47.861-08:00Lose my mind<p align="center"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">They say that time <br />Heals everything <br />But they don't know you <br />And the scars you bring <br />'Cos you left a jagged hole <br />And I can't stand it anymore <br />If heartache was a physical pain <br />I could face it I could face it <br />But you're hurting me <br />From inside of my head <br />I can't take it I can't take it <br />I'm gonna lose my mind <br />I'd erase my thoughts <br />If only I knew how <br />Fill my head with white noise <br />If it would drown you out <br />Kill the sound <br />If heartache was a physical pain <br />I could face it I could face it <br />But you're hurting me <br />From inside of my head <br />I can't take it I can't take it <br />I'm gonna lose my mind <br />And I'd rather be crazy <br />I'd rather go insane <br />Than having you stalk <br />My every thought <br />Then having you here inside my heart <br />If heartache was a physical pain <br />I could face it I could face it <br />But you're hurting me <br />From inside of my head <br />I can't take it I can't take it <br />I'm gonna lose my mind</font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-87317152255412907702011-01-25T15:15:00.001-08:002011-01-25T15:15:13.119-08:00And as you tip toe<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">And as you tiptoe off to bed, I’ll listen at your door, </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">for sighs and dreams and grandads snores. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I don’t begrudge you holidays or seeing Auntie Nick</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I just know that I’m going to struggle with you gone</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">and 2 months seems so long. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">The pair of you mean so much to me</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">your like my mum and dad</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">and even when the world seems bad</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">your there to hold my hand</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I still remember the last time my grandparents went away. I didn’t eat for a week and I didn’t sleep either. I sunk into myself and I closed off and I thought I might find it easier this time around cos I’m a lot stronger but how do you cope when your support network is on the other side of the world and your there alone? </font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-11584319965008452552011-01-22T17:46:00.001-08:002011-01-22T17:46:53.522-08:00Your boyfriend sucks….<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I tried to get someone to listen to this song today, but it fell on deaf ears, so here are the lyrics instead. For someone, I hope, in some way, they make sense. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">You're better off without him, don't call him... <br />He's breaking your heart. <br />He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there, <br />It's tearing you apart. <br />He lied to you a thousand times, <br />When I was there he kept you waiting. <br />And I'm still here waiting there <br />To catch you if you fall. <br />I don't know why I care so much <br />When I shouldn't care at all. <br />Finally got the nerve to tell you <br />How much you mean to me you said that I was your best friend, <br />A real sweet guy, but that's all I'd ever be. </font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-2612324567029113452011-01-18T17:06:00.001-08:002011-01-18T17:06:40.909-08:00Tiger Eyes<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Someone told me once that they could tell me my life story just by looking in to my eyes. I laughed it off but what they told me wasn’t for from reality. My eyes are the portal to me. They show passion, they show fear, they show happiness and even without tears they show sadness. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Slightly unique, like me, they are different. My eyes are two different shades. Green and brown. Which used to get confusing for a very good friend who used to dedicate songs such as ‘brown eyed girl’ to me. Sometimes though he would get it right, and so he learnt to play Coldplay’s Green Eyes on guitar. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">‘’Honey you are a rock <br />Upon which I stand <br />And I come here to talk <br />I hope you understand <br />That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you <br />And how could, anybody, deny you <br />I came here with a load <br />And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you <br />And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you ‘’ </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">God I miss him. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Anyway, I digress. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I can hide it all from you, but look into my eyes and I can never tell a lie. My eyes may sparkle they may shine, these eyes are precious for they are mine. They tell the stories of my life, of happiness, joy, pain and strife. Of times I wish I could forget and of dreams of people I have met. </font></p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TTY5HTMIBcI/AAAAAAAAAII/Zr-1vADkag0/s1600-h/eye%5B2%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="eye" border="0" alt="eye" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TTY5H8M-rqI/AAAAAAAAAIM/KLEDOMK4JRU/eye_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-58821387581061069422011-01-17T17:55:00.001-08:002011-01-17T18:02:15.949-08:00Reconnections<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>My best friend said to me recently that since he had moved back to Leeds he had started to reconnect with people he used to go to school with and the such, it got me thinking that I didn’t really keep in contact with anyone I went to school with, not even my old best friend. Why?</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>A few weeks ago at the end of my tether my cousin came to my rescue, I was down and lonely and miserable and she went to the cinema with me to cheer me up. We used to hang out together when we were younger, more through force than anything else, but it was lovely to just have female company and have a chat and hang out together. So much so that we are going again this weekend and I can’t wait <img style="border-bottom-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-left-style: none" class="wlEmoticon wlEmoticon-smile" alt="Smile" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TTTzFe3gqgI/AAAAAAAAAH8/pW7H-GpRsi0/wlEmoticon-smile%5B2%5D.png?imgmax=800" /></strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>Then there is my Stevie bum. We always used to text each other all the time anyway but we have had a couple of nights out together recently and it’s been nice. He is the 2nd most texted person in my phone and one of the people I pester the shit out of but it’s nice to actually have a bit of physical company, his friends are ace too. </strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>Tonight has got to be the best night for me in a while though, I had a bit of a shit afternoon and was feeling like i might cry at any point. Then who should pop up on facebook but Natalie. When I went to primary school my mum and her mum were best friends, me and her were best friends. We were inseperable. We had sleep overs, we had birthday parties, we lived opposite each other and used to have walkie talkies so we could talk on a night because we couldn’t bare to be apart from each other. She’s said she’d really like to meet up and go for a drink which I am really looking forward to, we’ve traded numbers and I am looking forward to hearing from her. <img style="border-bottom-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-left-style: none" class="wlEmoticon wlEmoticon-smile" alt="Smile" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TTTzFe3gqgI/AAAAAAAAAH8/pW7H-GpRsi0/wlEmoticon-smile%5B2%5D.png?imgmax=800" /></strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>Finally I found an email from an old clubbing buddy with his mobile number in, so on the off chance it was still in use I text it. I only had to say it’s Dani from Rio’s and he knew who I was.</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>So I’ve had a good time reconnecting with people from my past, and I know the saying goes, ‘’there’s a reason people didn’t make it to your present’’ or something along those lines, but with these people the only reason was through laziness and a loss of communication.</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>I really think I might be getting myself back on track. </strong></font></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TTT0o-oH1WI/AAAAAAAAAIA/h4jHUZvFadk/s1600-h/me%20and%20nat%5B2%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="me and nat" border="0" alt="me and nat" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TTT0piiCflI/AAAAAAAAAIE/9qlzLF6DJhs/me%20and%20nat_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="180" /></a></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-9936398332198477062011-01-13T03:49:00.001-08:002011-01-13T03:49:06.125-08:00Running up that hillAnd if I only could, <br/> Make a deal with God, <br/> And get him to swap our places , <br/> Be running up that road , <br/> Be running up that hill , <br/> Be running up that building. <br/> If I only could, oh.. . <br/> You don't wanna hurt me , <br/> But see how deep the bullet lies . <br/> Unaware that I 'm tearing you <br/> asunder. <br/> There's a thunder in our hearts , baby . <br/> So much hate for the ones we love? <br/> Tell me , we both matter , don' t we ?<div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-34881874933456130982011-01-09T16:43:00.001-08:002011-01-09T16:43:25.501-08:00hopeLife cannot be built on what ifs and maybes, or built on doubts about the past. All you can do is do your best and try. You can't change the past but you can create a new future. <br/> <br/> I wish that you could see the good in you that I see x<div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-79685956790115177532011-01-04T15:14:00.001-08:002011-01-04T15:14:34.218-08:00Comfortably numb.<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I make no illusions of the fact I am a little down in the dumps as of late, it’s just the time of year. However, looking at this year compared to last year, I realise one thing which isn’t affecting my mood like it used to. My body. For the very first time in my adult life I think I am finally comfortable in my own skin. Sure I am still over weight but I am still actively doing something about it. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">The thing which got me thinking the most is the clothes I wear. Last year I wore nothing but black. Black trousers, tshirts, black everything. Now I hardly wear black, hell I hardly even wear black trousers any more. I wear jeans, leggings, tracksuits. I wear bright colours and fitted items, clothes that flatter and draw attention to the new features I have achieved. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">i never used to wear a watch, I could never find a standard one that fit around my chunky wrists. I now have a gorgeous pink Oasis watch that I bought in November which is even a little loose <img style="border-bottom-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-left-style: none" class="wlEmoticon wlEmoticon-smile" alt="Smile" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_S0CuZB7hhAA/TSOp2Cv9IMI/AAAAAAAAAH4/eJ8r1S5wiFM/wlEmoticon-smile%5B2%5D.png?imgmax=800" /> It’s those little changes that have made all the difference to me. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">The changes might not seem much to anyone else but they are huge to me. </font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-57229097202250970572011-01-03T05:51:00.001-08:002011-01-03T05:51:37.252-08:00Who am I kidding?So much for a new year new start. I have so far managed to hide behind a falsehood of smiles and giggles yet in the darkness of my room have cried. <br/> <br/> 2011 has indeed brought changes. Stuart has terminated the friendship and expects me to be huddled in a corner crying and self harming, but anyone who dumps someone via email really isn't worth my tears. :o) <br/> <br/> Ste and G as lovely as they are can't be there. And my other friends seem like they are pushing me away. <br/> <br/> I shall not be destroyed though. As Ben tells me I am awesome. If other people can't see that, then that's not my problem. I just wish I could see the awesomeness too. <div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-3842880403726964432011-01-01T16:53:00.001-08:002011-01-01T16:53:55.154-08:00whyI'm not sure why it is I cry so much. It's not even your fault, it just seems a little one sided sometimes. You need me and I drop it all for you. I'm still struggling and I don't always let on, and even though I know you are there I wish you were there more. <br/> I feel like I'm losing you again and I don't like it. :(<div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-35321003914178983572010-12-31T15:35:00.001-08:002010-12-31T15:35:13.193-08:00A year in a paragraph<p>2010 started for me on a low, my grandparents were in Australia, I didn’t sleep and I lived off crisps and nothing more thanks to the kind people at Walkers Twitter HQ. In February I took a stand and joined Slimming World and whilst everyone thought oh here she goes again, 7 stone later I proved them wrong. I got the all clear to go without steroids after my op, I got splints for my wrists and I made a start.  I started to grow closer to a friend I had pushed away and I finished my A levels. I went to Zante and I enjoyed the sun. I learnt to trust men again and I now have the bestest friend in the world. He moved to Leeds and helped to rebuild bits of me that were lost long ago.I’m now happy to have my photograph taken when before I was ashamed of who I was. I found the courage to go back into work albeit as a christmas temp but it was a positive step. Sure 2010 threw some real shit at me, but it gave me some wonderful things too. Here is to another amazing 12 months x</p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-77376753320141321452010-12-26T13:59:00.001-08:002010-12-26T13:59:55.877-08:00I won’t pretend<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">That it doesn’t hurt to know that I am not enough. To know that try as I might I will never give you all the happiness and smiles that you deserve.</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"> I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt to know you are in inner turmoil. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I won’t pretend that I don’t struggle to say make your own mind up instead of screaming ‘pick me’</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">But I don’t need to pretend that I will always be here, I can say that with certainty and with passion and with love. Times have been hard, times have been shit but they brought me to a new place and I wouldn’t swap that place for a million pounds. It might not always be happy and smiles it might even involve tears at times, but I know that having you as my friend was worth all the battles and trouble in the end. </font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-56102029435147073722010-12-23T08:40:00.001-08:002010-12-23T08:40:11.387-08:00Until<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I can handle the world, when I know your by my side. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Today has been a mixture of emotions; good to bad, happy to sad. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">It was my last day at Clinton’s today, having spent the last 3 years convincing myself that I didn’t want to work, that I couldn’t work because of my back, I have shocked myself, because I absolutely loved working again, it was something fresh and new and enjoyable and I am going to miss it. It gave me routine and a reason to get up and out of the house but it also allowed me to be me, and be bubbly and chatty and to have a giggle .</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">After work I went to my Uncle’s Wake. I didn’t attend the funeral, I haven’t quite decided yet whether that makes me a bad person or not but I know that I am not strong enough for that, and that it would cause me turmoil in the long run. I still wanted to show my respects so I sent some flowers and attended the wake, it was lovely to catch up with family who I haven’t seen for a while. Even if my mum was drunk and my cousin Kim cried and my nan cried too. I can handle most things but seeing my nan cry breaks my heart every time. I have never been to a wake before and whilst I expected the tears I didn’t expect the laughter that came as we talked about my uncles rubbish driving and how journeys with him were like white knuckle terror rides. It stopped as soon as we were all in our cars, most people know I am a spiritualist and I really do feel like it was a sign of him saying goodbye.</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I am home now feeling just empty. On an opposite to the emotion I have also been given a job interview at Sainsbury’s in the new year, i didn’t answer the call but the guy left a voicemail, I suppose that’s a positive. . </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Until we meet again, I will carry you in my heart forever x</font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-16897456051475449772010-12-20T09:45:00.001-08:002010-12-20T09:45:39.581-08:00Back For Good<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ClTfBil-_1A?fs=1&hl=en_GB&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ClTfBil-_1A?fs=1&hl=en_GB&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-40108865581354326062010-12-18T02:48:00.000-08:002010-12-18T02:48:06.559-08:00My Life In Music: Just What I Needed<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9hwE0slNd3Y?fs=1&hl=en_GB&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9hwE0slNd3Y?fs=1&hl=en_GB&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-11595001942319420052010-12-14T02:27:00.001-08:002010-12-14T02:27:49.864-08:00Uncle Lawrie…<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>God saw you getting tired <br />and a cure was not to be <br />so he put his arms around you <br />and whispered, <br />“Come to Me”</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>With tearful eyes we watched you <br />and saw you pass away <br />and although we love you dearly <br />we could not make you stay.</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>A Golden heart stopped beating <br />hard working hands at rest. <br />God broke our hearts to prove to us <br />he only takes the best</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong></strong></font></p> <p><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"></font></strong></p> <p><strong><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"> </font></strong></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-69050618128123093122010-12-10T12:30:00.001-08:002010-12-10T12:30:05.490-08:00Today….<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>Today has been a good day and also a day tinged with sadness.</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong></strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>To start with today is day one of the spa trip that I won. After a few issues with the trains we finally made it to Champneys Springs and were given a tour of the building shown to our room before our first treatment. The water is full of minerals and salts and then jets work on problem areas of your body such as stomach and thighs, to break down the toxins. It felt amazing although I am a water baby anyway and love to be in the pool.</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>We then went for our evening meal in the restaurant. Starter was Plaice and Salmon roulade with king prawns and lemon with herb dressing. Main meal was sliced chicken breast on a bed of basil mash with baby corn and red wine jus. Pudding was apple and berry crumble with a vanilla cream sauce. All was lovely.</strong></font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>I am now laid in bed feeling tired, lonely and a little bit down in the dumps. Some of you remember a few weeks ago my uncle had a stroke, things were looking up and whilst he still had no feeling and mobility he was alert and talking and happy and joking. Things however took a turn for the worse last night when he had another major stroke. The doctors have now decided to withdraw any medical treatment and we have been told he will not make it through the weekend. He is an amazing man who I am proud to have had in my life, its just so hard to try and enjoy myself when I know that when I get back home he may not be there anymore x</strong></font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-63391565849360176942010-12-09T11:22:00.001-08:002010-12-09T11:22:24.894-08:00The Words We Say<p align="center"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma"><strong>We'll wait in line <br />For most our lives <br />Get out get in <br />Get on with it <br />We always hurt the ones we never really loved <br />We always think we're all alone we're always <br />Broke <br />We're always broke <br />The words we say take different shapes <br />We'll live and die with all the things we recognize <br />We'll count our sins <br />Stop now begin <br />We know the words are better left unspoken <br />When they'll be right in <br />To tear the heads off of us <br />The words we say <br />Take different shapes <br />And you can only do so much <br />To try to get your point across <br />I'll live and die with all the things i recognize <br />I'll count my sins <br />Stop now begin </strong></font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-63903223935932163012010-12-08T09:40:00.001-08:002010-12-08T09:40:20.017-08:00Sway<p align="center"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I should be much too smart for this <br />You know it gets the better of me <br />Sometimes, when you and I collide <br />I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time <br />Don't let me drown, let me down <br />I say it's all because of you <br />And here I go, losing my control <br />I'm practicing your name <br />So I can say it to your face <br />It doesn't seem right to look you in the eye <br />Let all the things you mean to me <br />Come tumbling out my mouth <br />Indeed it's time to tell you why <br />I say it's infinitely true <br />Say you'll stay, don't <br />Come and go like you do <br />Sway my way, yeah <br />I need to know all about you <br />And there's no cure and no way to be sure <br />Why everything's turned inside out <br />Instilling so much doubt <br />It makes me so tired, I feel so uninspired <br />My head is battling with my heart <br />My logic has been torn apart <br />And now it all turns sour <br />Come sweeten every afternoon</font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879067940225714579.post-46259382072395744952010-12-06T08:21:00.001-08:002010-12-06T08:21:35.797-08:00Take a look<p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Take a look around yourself and tell me what you see.</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">I have come to the firm conclusion that some people I know are just selfish, not just a little selfish but selfish to the core. Incapable of thinking about anyone or anything but themselves. Forgetting completely that the world doesn’t revolve around them and actually exists past the end of their nose. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">This is a bit of a rant but meh, what the hell. Take a look around yourself and tell me what you see? Do you see the blessing in the fact you have your health and that your family are all well and healthy. What about the fact you have a family to even care about? Don’t take for granted what you have because it sadly won’t always be around. </font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Be thankful for your health. Be thankful for your family. Be thankful for your children. Be thankful your alive!</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Be thankful that life gave you the opportunities to have what you have. Don’t throw them away like they mean nothing because there are people who would kill for half the chance to have a family or be fully  healthy, me included.</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma">Lastly. GET A FUCKING GRIP!</font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0